What a week

Aside from having a terminal illness, or a seriously debilitating illness, a chronic illness is right up there with being majorly sucky. That is me - my lovely Chronic Fatigue Syndrome diagnosed way back when I was 17 and still invincible - or so I thought. A time when it was a "fake disease". Epstein Barr Virus setting in after a severe case of Mono. YAY. I began my Senior year of High school (after being sick much of Junior year) to find I couldn't function. I had never been a sick kid - I have tons of perfect attendance certificates to prove it. But my 11th grade report card showed a different story. I struggled that year and attributed it to over-doing it. I very surely WAS, being that I went to school at 5:30 to swim for an hour, then went to zero hour, then the regular school day which involved being outside for marching band practice no matter what the weather. After school I led the flag corps, did swim team and worked on the Drama Club. I did costumes, sets, and choreography. I might have even had a 7th hour. It was all a blur. I was gone from 5 am to 11pm every day during the week. So it would make sense I would get sick a lot right? I thought it was that, or maybe all the chemicals in the pool? I wasn't sure. All I knew is that I got sick a lot and when I wasn't sick I was REALLY tired.

So back to Senior year. I was falling asleep in class no matter what I did, even when I was directly in front of the teacher's desk. One time, my AP Calculus teacher let me sleep... through another class. That was weird. Finally one day I fainted in the hallway. And so ended my scholarship dreams to become a marine conservationist. I was out. My doctor told me to stop or I would die. That is what he said.

I started on a homeopathic regimen and took time off school. A couple months at least. This is all still a little blurry. I mean, it was almost 20 years ago and it was so scary I think I blocked it out. I slept A LOT. At least 14 hours a day on a good day. When I was allowed to return to school I only had afternoon classes, since I slept until 10 or 10:30 every day. I was lucky I had pushed myself in the past because I only need a half credit of Government to graduate. I took that, yearbook art editor and art direction independent study. I knew that I had to set my sites on an art scholarship now. I couldn't take any of my advanced classes that I had planned to pursue my biology degree. A dream I had set my site on when I was barely 10 and regret not living out to this day.

And so I learned to slow down and enjoy things. I actually goofed off some and disobeyed the rules a little. All something I never did. It was a good lesson. The homeopathics saved my life and I will swear by them. I only wish my doctor was still practicing. Because I need them again.

Through life, I know that I need to be careful but I am human, I push the limits. And now I am a mom - of 3. I want more but honestly I worry that it will actually kill me. I look fairly healthy or at least people say that but I know that I am not. I live it every day. I pretend. But I am sick. A friend of mine recently had her son's best friend be diagnosed with Lymphoma. Apparently this is a cancer I must watch for as well. My condition makes me a target. I live in fear that my immune system with give up the ghost.

Now, after doing all this research in vaccines because of, initially, my middle daughter and her reactions I have been able to see something I did not before. Prior to my Junior year, I went to Australia. I still remember standing in the doctor's office and getting several shots in each arm, bringing the needed vaccines up to date. That was when the trouble began. The following summer I went to China and needed a few more shots to get me over the border. I came home from there and within a month my lymphnodes in my neck were the size of baseballs. Alarming.

I had to quit everything. That was so hard. I was excited that year to be on the dance team. Me - with NO dance experience - made the team. No one understood that I had to sit on the sidelines. No one tolerated my illness that they must have thought was fake. It was so tough.

I know some people DO tend to make mountains out of molehills. I do not. I WISH EVERYDAY that I felt good. I put up a good front. And when I do break down and tell people how I feel they usually don't do anything to help me. I don't get that - the only reason I would tell them is because I needed help.

Did the vaccines cause my illness? I don't know. Was it just the area I lived in? A friend's younger sister died of brain cancer very young. My best friend, Leukemia. But I guess that is just life.

I write this today because I am relapsing hard. I know that this might be the illness that puts me down for the count. I know I might have to really focus on recovering like I did way back in 1992. And it makes me mad! I want to be healthy. I want to feel good and enjoy my life!!!! I hope that this is just a bad flu and I am feeling the fear of knowing what it is like to be REALLY sick. I hope that is it. Because the older I get, the scarier it is.

Commericals and Sex

I used to joke with people about my profession. "What kind of work do you do?" people would ask and my reply would reply "Satan's" because that is how I felt. When I was young and going into the art field I looked at advertising as an art. A way to creatively put out information for people to use. A way to create something beautiful and informational. To be fair I wanted to work for Hallmark or National Geographic and really not work in advertising at all. Yup, advertising - Satan's work. I also did marketing and feel that was less horrible and infinitely more intelligent. But don't tell all the over blown ad exec's that - their precious ego might blow up in your face.

So now, today, out of that burning inferno I watch the standards or decency fall further and further in today's ad world. Not only is the creative ability failing, but the ability to advertise without the use of gross humor and sexual reference. And then, to top it off, the shows which advertise these things during their commercial breaks! One Sunday morning my children and I were watching a show on one of the more educational channels about Humpback whales, a favorite animal of mine. Every commercial break showed a mostly naked man rolling around and making out with and caressing a woman in the waves on the beach. It made me so angry - but that was only the beginning. Now a couple years later I have to endure my 9 year old seeing women talking off their clothes in a movie commercial during a child geared Christmas show or even worse - watching "The Music Man" with Matthew Broderick (I was so excited to see this was on and let her see a musical!) only to have the commercial come on to TWO NAKED MEN MAKING OUT!~ I nearly kicked the stinking TV. And then there is NOTHING to do about this. I have looked at the organizations who have PATHETIC resources and attempts at change. I am so sick even of the local news that can't go through a broadcast without running some special interest feature on sex something-or-other. Or watching a NASCAR race and having my children ask "what is an erection?" Thanks all you jerks in Washington for doing NOTHING to watch out for our children. But you know what I think - I think it is ON PURPOSE. No one can be so stupid as to let this happen without awareness. Freedom of speech has nothing to do with the lack of decency in America today.


Welcome to the American Idiocracy. Take away our voice on how to educate and keep our children healthy and don't give our children a voice to protect them against moral injustice. Why not just put porn on primetime TV? Oh wait... I am pretty sure we have it already. (Glee, ER, Grey's... oh yeah) - Sorry Patrick.

I just wonder...

... why all the plastic??? If given a choice I choose paper, which I make an effort to recycle. Or wood, which I use FOREVER because it is fairly indestructible (think kids toys, where my children play with blocks from not only my older siblings but from my mother's childhood, and she is nearing 80 years old!) But these days plastic is the "it product". Disturbing, as it fills our planet and strangles our wildlife. The giant floating "sea fill" viewable from outer space should be enough to make us march the streets in protest (plus the effects of eating the fish that eat the plastic in the water but another topic for another day)! Even worse is the effect of chemical leaching into food products encased in plastic. Styrofoam, plastic wrap, and Biphismol A filled canned foods widely consumed by not only adults, but children. I recall that back in 2004 or 5 there was an article released out of the Associated Press saying that based on a government study, plastics - specifically containing Biphismol A - were safe on all levels. There was a list of things the chemical was found to cause in mice/rats including early puberty and reproductive issues and neurological problems. They concluded with the statement - I think this is exact - that is was found "to pose no threat to the general public". Even worse was the fact that the article was a side-note basically and took up only a 2"x6" side bar in the newspaper.


Really? The rise of neurological disorders including ADHD wasn't a concern when faced with this data? How can you not draw a parallel? One in SIX children are now thought to suffer from neurological illness (yes - one in six!). Not to mention the average age for young girls to start their period dropping to 12 years of age, where as 25 years ago it was 15. Add to that the booming industry for the infertile public. The effects or that are even further reaching and for another discussion all together.


So, as I drive myself crazy wishing "canned" fruit was available in a glass jar instead of cans or *shudder* PLASTIC jars I wonder WHY - why all the plastic? Why produce a produce that relies on the oil industry? Another way to drive up costs. Why spend so much on packaging that plastic toy in plastic AGAIN that is so hard to open I have had to bandage gapping wounds from the mere struggle to remove it from the desired product it encases!? Put is all in a paper box please that is biodegradable - recyclable - and easy to open. Thanks a bunch. Plus, we don't need to employ tons of workers in China to spend all that time twist-tying all that stuff in place. Yet another point to consider at a later date.


But food in plastic is my biggest complaint. Thank you to all that take bags to the market, reuse plastic bags to contain garbage (seeing as you much do SOMETHING with these plagues of consumerism) I don't care how breakable - how HEAVY (all you people worried about shipping costs), I prefer to address my health. Give me some glass please, and thank you. Rmember Town Club? Love them.


A big shout out to local producer  (Shelby Township/Taylor) Hot Rod Bob! They make mean BBQ's and salad dresses ALWAYS put in GLASS! http://www.hotrodbobs.net/


We love love love all the products (but the greek dressing which IMO is so-so LOL) All the others are above awesome. The Sweet and Sassy Susie Q is really fantastic on Ruben's and Blondies! Also is a really good dressing for the sweet-tooth inclined toddler ;)


If you have products you love that are packaged safely please share - also ones that you think are STUPID-D (for a double dose of Dumb) share that too! For instance - Gerber organic baby-food ONLY available in plastic - except for meat because it is obvious too dangerous LMBO - OMG.


I have much more to discuss on this topic but for now, just think about it :)


-Laura

I have found an interesting article citing an article written by Robert Kennedy. According to the author, Kennedy spilled the beans on the government finding of the use of thimerosal in vaccines and its side effects. The reality is that even now that this has been "removed" from "most" vaccines WE - the adults - had it!!! What is the effect on our eggs? Are we storing the effects? Has it altered the outer coating on our genes to effect our susceptibility to cancer? To OTHER birth defects and disorders? Allergies? Before the introductions of mass drugs and vaccines in general the surviving population was MUCH healthier (just take a look at my totally kicking 104 year old grandmother who has never even had a flu shot!). However, in our efforts to cheat death the process of natural selection (I mean NO ONE wants to die or see a loved one pass!) we are creating a society of generally sick people! I don't know what the solution is - probably making what we put into our bodies safer and forgetting the $$$. Many would contest that they rather have someone HERE and alive, albeit, unwell. I am not so sure. Both sides of this are tragic. There is no mistake that life is hard. Or that is WILL END.

Here is a link to this article. There is no date on it and likely is very old but worth a read and the questions it brings up. Not to mention the statement that mercury is NOT ONLY IN VACCINES for all those that refuse to consider vaccinations a cause for autism.

http://chetday.com/autismthimerosal.htm

Speaking of Vaccines

So today Coralynn had to have a physical. I needed to do it before school started but they decided she could start prior to the appointment but it took 2 months to get in! So I show up at 10 in the pouring rain and the building is going to be closed but they will fit in the last ones! Well then the lady tells me my appointment was 1:30!!! The lovely Jayne at the desk talked to the doctor and they fit me in anyhow! And YES it was my fault! Thank goodness I messed it up or we'd have had to reschedule it! OH NO~

During the appointment the topic of vaccines of course came up and I told her how Coralynn got VERY sick following her MMR and always had some minor issues with her DTaP. I mentioned the first hand experiences of children who became autistic immediately (within 24 hours) of their vaccines and the doctor ADMITTED that she had seen it happen first and hand and KNOWS it can cause this reaction!!! A medical professional who admits it! She said it is very rare but so devastating that it can't even be put into statistics. That was HER WORDS. We didn't talk about death and relation to crib death but that was enough for me to leave with my jaw dragging. She still feels they are needed and important . Of course they are! Those of us against vaccines WISH they were safe!!! And I imagine one day I will get the few I feel are needed. But I wish someone would wake up before more children and families suffer!!!!!

Stampin' and Vaccines

First off, what a great day! Had a bunch of my lady friends over for a Stampin' Up party and it was SO fun!! And I am proud to say I am making more "lady" friends. Most of my life I have been more of a "guy" friends kinda gal. Nice to be connecting with some of my own kind.

And then the rant. Looking through the Friday folder I find all these "requirements" for vaccines. I wish they would state it as it is - a suggested course of vaccines to prevent your child from getting a specific illness. I see so many things on vaccine debates and it seems one side is always so angry with the other. Why don't people understand that this decision is not an easy one for anyone who is educated - regardless of which way they go. So many people - to be honest - more so the side that gets the vaccines - are just MEAN about it. They like to say people who do not vaccinate are just idiots who follow some actress. This is so not the case. If the answer were as easy as "get the shot and don't get sick" what IDIOT WOULDN'T? Unfortunately it is not the case. I have seen first hand the subtle but permanent and definite damage vaccines can do. Numerous studies have shown that the increase in autoimmune disorders and neurological disorders is significantly higher in vaccinated individuals. Not exclusive but yes, much higher incidents - like 300x more likely. That isn't anything to ignore.

I am not shaking the reality that these diseases can be very nasty. Specifically Tetanus - which is highly fatal if contracted. If you are playing with old rusty farm equipment you really need to get one. If you scratch your hand on a rusty nail in your house you are fine. It isn't the rust. It is the bacteria on the rust. This bacteria most frequently lives in soil, especially that around farms. Other highly deadly or detrimental diseases are polio and small pox. Scarlet fever once had a vaccine but because of antibiotics, they do not use it any longer. IMO if the disease can be treated it is better to get the disease than the perversion of it in a vaccine. Meningitis is another that I will consider getting for my child. Whooping Cough is not great and although not something I would like my child to get, the vaccine poses significant risks in my book (and studies have shown this vaccine to be most likely to cause serious side effects). So the DTAP is one that I am not willing to write off totally. The MMR however is. It has been found in numerous studies that ONLY WITH THE COMBO the measles virus settles in the stomach, much like the Epstein Barr virus settles in the liver, and creates digestive problems for the person pretty much FOREVER. It is especially hard for the child getting this vaccine to recover. Many children with autism pose with digestive issues. Although I do not fully believe autism is primarily caused by vaccines in every instance, I do believe it is triggered/aggravated by it. I had some doubt on this until I met first hand people who have had this happen to their children. A drastic heart wrenching thing. I already feel the guilt of seeing my kids suffer from the vaccines given to them. If I had this happen to me I don't know what I would do. Two people, one little 12 month old girl and one 18 month boy who, within 12 hours of their shots, went from totally normal and even advanced to practically vegetative states. The boy, now 5, does not talk. He was talking fine prior to the shot. Coincidence that he decided to stop talking and shut down in that 12 hours? REALLY? I am sorry but there is no way.

So we as parents face a decision. No matter what anyone says it it OUR DECISION and should be. I would be a ragging lunatic if I felt I couldn't control what my child would or wouldn't be injected with and so should you. Every newspaper in the country would be writing about me if this happened. I would be the most insane person just to draw attention to the fact that my liberty and that of my child was being taken away. The Preamble to the Constitution forbids it and I will be DAMNED if that isn't upheld.

So, as you can see it is easy to get passionate on this. I would love for my child to never be ill. I would love to know for sure that these vaccines would protect them but both my heart and head tell me they are not safe. Is going unvaccinated safe? No, probably not but then again is anything safe? But I have to decide which is best for my child. Could I face tragedy? Yes. Could I face it with the vaccine? YES. The reality is we are finite. We all die. We can't cheat death. Do I think my child has a higher chance of death not getting the vaccine? I don't currently but that could change. However, is it about death or quality of life? Are you a "life no matter what" person or someone who believes that there might be a better life for your child if they are allowed to die instead of forced to live a life of mental or physical challenge? Are you gambling with your child's intelligence and quality of life instead of giving them a chance at living without severe allergies or altered genomes? Which is better? Make no mistake that vaccines are unnatural. Death and disease are natural. That is something you as a parent have to accept too. I myself struggle with that reality - any loving person would.

As you can see, there are many questions to ask and ones that have no answer really. You don't know what the future holds. Is prevention worth it? I think that is the RIGHT of the parent to decide. And what is the correct answer? I am not sure there is one. It is something you need to decide.

When I hear my friends talk about chronic health problems in their child I will tell you - they are always the ones that are vaccinated. Ones that haven't been are usually rarely sick much or for long. This is my experience and perspective. I am afraid of my child getting sick like any parent but do what I feel is right. I am not uneducated. I am not "following" or listening to an actress. I look at the facts, look at studies, have even researched how horrible these diseases were prior to vaccinations and prior to antibotics. I know. Each day is a gamble and if you have kids you always worry. But I want my kids to live a GOOD life, no matter how long it is.

Beginning of a school - beginning a blog

As an avid journal writer - since I started in 4th grade in fact - this should be old hat. But the reality is as time went on and more things happen, the less time there is to maintain my lovely handwritten books. I have volumes. I wrote them to show my daughter that I knew just what she was going through. Yes, I had that foresight at the ripe old age of 9! And now, my oldest, a daughter, is 9. And I still find myself going back and reading and find that all those books I kept for her are making me remember what it was like to be a kid and what I went through. However, this poses a threat that I can compare my own thoughts and actions to what I experience as a mom with her. Not a good thing because kids these days are so different. I don't think it is in a good way either. But then again, I am sure my mom felt the same way ;)